What Every Man Should Know About Their Women’s ''Privates''

This article is for men and it discusses what they need to know about this all-important female body part — the va'gina (also called the birth ca'nal). This is a no-holds-barred health information supplement for you. If you cannot deal with such details, then please stop reading now. 

If you can, just lie back and enjoy the information below...

Exercise

There have been many articles attesting to the joys of regular sé'x and its many health benefits. In fact, one article recommended that women should go to bed without knickers in order to air out the va'gina during sleep. Men like that, as it sends the ‘right’ signals. It is also nice to perhaps have a late night shower!

A comedian said that the best adornment to wear for it is ‘specticles.’ And if you are taking it out for exercise, you should ensure it is in pretty good shape and looking fine.

Many men prefer a shaved va'gina and I do prescribe it for you. It is important in order to enjoy the act of sé'x: visually, geographically and maximally as P-Square would say. Further, you should use all your senses when in front of the va'gina and do not just be ruled by your ‘brain!’ Be in tune with all the different sensory stimuli from your partner.

Smell

I won’t go into any sordid details, but you need to appreciate the smell of the va'gina you are interacting with. This is from the health point of view. The va'gina should smell fresh and natural without insulting the nostrils. Odd smells reminiscent of the fish joint or ‘mama put’ bukateria should be frowned upon. Insist on an open discussion and an explanation before further events. Discuss the issue of discharges, even menstrual flow and infection openly with your partner and show you care. Of course, you care about the health and wellbeing of both of you. 

Let’s make one important point about cleanliness of the va'gina. Douching is washing or cleaning out the va'gina with water or other mixtures of fluids. It is not recommended and appears to cause more harm than good. The vagina has its own resident bacteria which the normal acidity of the va'gina keeps under control. But douching can change this delicate balance. This may make a woman more prone to va'ginal infections. Plus, douching can spread existing va'ginal infections up into the uterus, fallopian tubes, and ovaries.

Sight

Visual inspection and admiration of the va'gina enhances se'xual intercourse. It is also of real health benefit. Look for rash, cold sores and blisters which may indicate scabies or even herpes. Be aware of va'ginal discharges, including bleeding during sé'x. Evaluate the discharge or secretions from the va'gina for normality.

For example, cer'vical cancer causes odd, smelly discharges, bleeding and pain during sé'x. Ask questions about routine assessments by the doctor and encourage your partner to seek help. I think that every household should have their own gynaecologist/obstetrician. Learn to share!

Everyone should be appalled by female genital mutilation (FGM) as still practised in some parts of Nigeria. Should you know of anyone who believes in this criminal act, please kindly report them to the police. FGM spoils the beauty of the va'gina and should be abolished forever.

Sound

Some va'ginas makes noise as if you are on a joke fart pillow. And some others make a sloshing sound due to so much va'ginal secretions or perhaps a poor fit. You decide. It could be that you need a pe'nile enlargement or maybe she needs a tailor. I know a good one!

Is sé'x painful for your partner? All that exercise too much for the va'gina to take? It might not be down to your own physical fitness and prowess. Painful séx can be due to bacterial va'ginosis, va'ginitis, va'ginismus and rough sex. Listen to your partner for sounds of joy and not cries of pain.

Touch

It takes time, practice and an anatomy lesson to appreciate the feel of the va'gina and navigate your way to all the hot spots without using Global Positioning Satellite. Most of the va'gina is erogenous but a combination of touches and feel allow you to discover what works for your partner.

The G-spot is one of those favourite places that many men look for. It’s one of the wonders of the world and worth revisiting time and time again. Once you find it in the va'gina, your woman becomes or can become putty in your hands. Please don’t ask me where it is!